Rewind: Wilder on Closed Triads, Poly Families & Living Authentically, EP. 161

Some conversations are simply too good to leave in the archives.

This week I'm re-releasing one of my favorite early episodes with my dear friend, Wilder. Even years later, this conversation feels just as relevant. We dive into what it actually looks like to build a life outside of traditional relationship norms, from joining an already-married couple to creating a thriving polyamorous family together.

Wilder shares her experience of living in a closed triad, navigating the assumptions people make about triads, unpacking monogamous conditioning, and raising children in a loving, intentional polyamorous household.

Whether you're curious about polyamory, already practicing ethical non-monogamy, or simply interested in questioning the relationship scripts we've all inherited, this conversation is full of honesty, vulnerability, and hope.

Wilder lives in Olalla with her partners, their children, and an ever-growing collection of chickens, ducks, adventures, and beautiful chaos.

In This Episode

•  What a closed triad actually is - and what people often misunderstand about them 
•  Why labels can be helpful...and where they can become limiting 
•  The emotional journey of transitioning from monogamy to polyamory 
•  Authenticity, self-love, and creating relationships that fit who you really are 
•  Unlearning monogamous programming 
•  Navigating jealousy with curiosity instead of fear 
•  Raising children in a polyamorous family 
•  Imagining new possibilities for love, family, and partnership 
•  The difference between control and trust 
•  Choosing authenticity over societal expectations 

Timestamps

2:19 – What is a closed triad?

4:20 – Labels and identity

8:24 – Transitioning into polyamory

15:03 – Authenticity and self-love

18:59 – Monogamous programming and triad dynamics

33:24 – Jealousy

44:49 – Raising kids in a polyamorous family

52:44 – The possibilities of the future

54:41 – Control versus trust

1:00:08 – Living authentically

If you enjoyed this conversation, I'd love for you to share it with someone who's questioning the relationship "rules" they've always been taught. Every time we hear real stories from real people, it becomes a little easier to imagine that there are many ways to build a loving, connected life.

❤️ Thanks for listening to Nope, We're Not Monogamous.