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Nope! We're Not Monogamous
Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (Enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, tantra and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.
Episodes
137 episodes
The Taboo Side of Non-Monogamy: Pleasure, Healing, and Desire with Sharon Marie Scott
What if the desires you’re most afraid to admit are actually the key to your freedom? What if the parts of you you’ve labeled as “too much,” “too weird,” or “too taboo” are the exact places your healing has been waiting for you to look?I...
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Episode 137
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1:00:21
The Relationship Skills That Actually Matter in Non-Monogamy with Dr. Dan Sneider Ep. 136
If you’ve ever wondered which relationship skills actually make non-monogamy easier, healthier, and less chaotic, this episode is your new favorite deep dive.Today I’m talking with couples therapist Dr. Dan Sneider, who works with both m...
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Episode 136
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47:16
You Can’t Logic Your Way Out of Jealousy (But You’ll Definitely Try) Ep. 135
Ever tried to think your way out of a feeling?You read the books, have the talks, highlight every chapter on jealousy and self-regulation… and your nervous system just shrugs and says, “That’s cute, I’m still panicking.”T...
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Episode 135
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21:27
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Rethinking “Success” in Polyamory with Jessica Morgenthaler Ep. 134
Ever been told that a relationship only “counts” if you stay in it forever?Yeah… hard pass.In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I sit down with therapist, coach, and relationship anarchist Jessica Morgenthale...
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Episode 134
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49:23
Pelvic Floors, Orgasms, and Why We Don’t Discriminate Against the Monogamous with Jana Danielson
What if the secret to better sex, stronger orgasms, and more confidence isn’t another relationship hack—but your pelvic floor?This week, I’m joined by Jana Danielson, sensual health and pelvic floor wellness expert, Pilates master...
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Episode 133
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38:42
The Truth Hurts - But Hiding It Hurts Worse, Ep. 132
In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, relationship coach Ellecia Paine dives into the emotional cost of silence in open relationships and polyamory.If you’ve ever swallowed your truth to keep the peace, or stayed...
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Episode 132
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38:35
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Why You Can’t Just Talk Your Way Out of Jealousy in Polyamory (And What Actually Helps) Ep. 131
You’ve read the books. You’ve had the conversations. You’ve tried to journal your way into compersion.So why does your stomach still drop the moment your partner says they’re heading to someone else’s house?In this episode, I’m un...
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Episode 131
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33:11
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Rewriting Your Relationship Code: Ditching the Defaults for Real Freedom, Ep. 130
Are you stuck running relationship patterns you never consciously chose? In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I’m breaking down how to identify the default “rules” you inherited about love, sex, and partnership, and how to re...
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Episode 130
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17:15
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Relationship Anxiety in Polyamory: It’s Not Just You, Ep. 129
Are you polyamorous and anxious? Does your chest tighten every time your partner mentions a new crush? Are you constantly asking yourself, “Why am I feeling this way if I chose non-monogamy?” You’re not broken and you’re defin...
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Episode 129
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26:51
The Polyamory Trap of Finding Different Partners to Fill Different Needs, Ep. 128
Have you ever thought, “If my partner can’t meet all my needs, maybe another partner will”? In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I break down why that belief is one of the biggest traps in polyamory and open relati...
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Episode 128
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16:20
Polyamory’s Biggest Struggle Isn’t Jealousy — It’s Scheduling, EP. 127
Most people think the toughest part of polyamory is jealousy. But according to Richie, it’s actually… logistics. Yep, the calendar.After a life-changing cancer journey with his partner, Richie realized that the hardest part of opening th...
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Episode 127
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55:01
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Midlife, Menopause & Non-Monogamy: Reclaiming Pleasure, Power & Desire with Carla Wainwright EP. 126
What if midlife wasn’t the decline everyone warns you about, but a second spring?In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I sit down with Carla Wainwright, Holistic Wellness Coach, Sexual Awakening Facilita...
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Episode 126
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38:51
The Brutal Truth About Open Relationships, Ep. 125
Curious about open relationships but tired of the Instagram highlight reel version?This episode gets real about what it actually takes to make non-monogamy work — the messy feelings, the constant negotiations, and the communicat...
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Episode 125
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34:51
Patriarchy and Polyamory — Unpacking Power, Gender, and ENM with Cass Banker, Ep. 124
What happens when you leave monogamy… but bring patriarchy with you?In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I sit down with Cass Banker (they/them) — a polyamorous, eXvangelical, non-binary human on a mission to deconstru...
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Episode 124
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59:20
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The Cost of Shrinking: When Monogamy Doesn’t Fit, Ep. 123
“What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just be happy with what I have? Why do I keep wanting more when I already have a ‘good’ relationship?” If that question has been looping in your head, this episode is for you. Spoiler: the...
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Episode 123
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20:22
Leaving Purity Culture, Finding Non-Monogamy: Healing, Desire & Autonomy with Leah Carey, Ep. 122
What happens when you grow up being told your body isn’t yours, your desires are dangerous, and your worth is tied to being someone’s “only one”… and then you finally break free?In this powerful conversation, I’m joined (again!) by Le...
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Episode 122
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56:46
Why Finding Your People Changes Everything in Non-Monogamy, Ep. 121
In non-monogamy, being misunderstood often feels like the default—and being truly seen? That’s the exception. But finding your people truly changes everything.In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, non-monogamou...
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Episode 121
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28:18
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You’re Not Wrong for Wanting More: Let’s End That Lie, Ep. 120
Do you worry that your desires make you “too much”?Like wanting more connection, more honesty, or more love means something is wrong with you?You're not broken—you’re just becoming.In this episode of Nope! We’r...
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Episode 120
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14:29
Your Brain Gets Polyamory—But What About Your Body? Ep. 119
So your mind gets polyamory—you’ve read the books, done the therapy, had the late-night conversations. But your body? It’s still freaking out when your partner goes on a date. Welcome to the nervous system’s opinion on non-mon...
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Episode 119
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1:06:44
Creating Sexy, Safe, and Soulful Community with Jamie Love, Ep. 118
What actually happens at sex-positive events? Cuddle parties? Consent circles? Erotic service? 👀 In this episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous, I sit down with Jamie Love, Executive Director of
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Episode 118
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46:37
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You Don’t Have to Be the ‘Chill Poly Partner’ to Deserve Love, Ep. 117
Feeling like the “easy one” in your polycule?Always chill, never the squeaky wheel?This episode is your permission slip to stop shrinking for connection.We’re breaking down what it means to disappear inside non-monogamy, why boun...
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Episode 117
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28:33
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Why You’re Stuck in the Same Fight on Repeat (and How to Break the Loop) Ep. 116
Are you having the same fight over and over in your non-monogamous relationship—and wondering why nothing ever changes?You’re not broken. You’re in a pattern. And until you understand what’s underneath that pattern, it’ll keep sho...
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Episode 116
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19:10
How to Say the Hard Thing Without Burning Everything Down, Ep. 115
You’re not broken. You just never learned how to say the hard thing without burning everything down.In this episode, I’m sharing how to actually talk about the uncomfortable stuff in non-monogamy—without losing your shit ...
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Episode 115
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18:33
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Tantra, Throuples, and the Best Sex of Her Life at 65 with Xanet Pailet
What happens when you go from 26 years in a sexless marriage… to a full-blown sexual awakening in your 50s? This week, I’m joined by Xanet Pailet — a former healthcare lawyer turned tantra teacher, somatic sex coach, and the author of Livin...
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Episode 114
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45:01
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Stop Compromising, Start Collaborating: A New Approach to Non-Monogamy Ep. 113
Tired of misunderstandings, silent resentment, or agreements that leave you feeling unseen?In this episode, we unpack the real difference between collaboration and compromise—and how building intentional, values-based agreements...
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Episode 113
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17:04
