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Nope! We're Not Monogamous
Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (Enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, tantra and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.
Episodes
122 episodes
Why Finding Your People Changes Everything in Non-Monogamy, Ep. 121
In non-monogamy, being misunderstood often feels like the default—and being truly seen? That’s the exception. But finding your people truly changes everything.In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, non-monogamou...
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Episode 121
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26:09
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You’re Not Wrong for Wanting More: Let’s End That Lie, Ep. 120
Do you worry that your desires make you “too much”?Like wanting more connection, more honesty, or more love means something is wrong with you?You're not broken—you’re just becoming.In this episode of Nope! We’r...
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Episode 120
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14:04
Your Brain Gets Polyamory—But What About Your Body? Ep. 119
So your mind gets polyamory—you’ve read the books, done the therapy, had the late-night conversations. But your body? It’s still freaking out when your partner goes on a date. Welcome to the nervous system’s opinion on non-mon...
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Episode 119
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1:04:35
Creating Sexy, Safe, and Soulful Community, Ep. 118
What actually happens at sex-positive events? Cuddle parties? Consent circles? Erotic service? 👀 In this episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous, I sit down with Jamie Love, Executive Director of
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Episode 118
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44:28
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You Don’t Have to Be the ‘Chill Poly Partner’ to Deserve Love, Ep. 117
Feeling like the “easy one” in your polycule?Always chill, never the squeaky wheel?This episode is your permission slip to stop shrinking for connection.We’re breaking down what it means to disappear inside non-monogamy, why boun...
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Episode 117
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26:24
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Why You’re Stuck in the Same Fight on Repeat (and How to Break the Loop) Ep. 116
Are you having the same fight over and over in your non-monogamous relationship—and wondering why nothing ever changes?You’re not broken. You’re in a pattern. And until you understand what’s underneath that pattern, it’ll keep sho...
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Episode 116
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18:45
How to Say the Hard Thing Without Burning Everything Down, Ep. 115
You’re not broken. You just never learned how to say the hard thing without burning everything down.In this episode, I’m sharing how to actually talk about the uncomfortable stuff in non-monogamy—without losing your shit ...
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Episode 115
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18:08
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Tantra, Throuples, and the Best Sex of Her Life at 65 with Xanet Pailet
What happens when you go from 26 years in a sexless marriage… to a full-blown sexual awakening in your 50s? This week, I’m joined by Xanet Pailet — a former healthcare lawyer turned tantra teacher, somatic sex coach, and the author of Livin...
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Episode 114
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42:52
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Stop Compromising, Start Collaborating: A New Approach to Non-Monogamy Ep. 113
Tired of misunderstandings, silent resentment, or agreements that leave you feeling unseen?In this episode, we unpack the real difference between collaboration and compromise—and how building intentional, values-based agreements...
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Episode 113
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16:39
Why Self-Love Looks Different in Non-Monogamy (And Why You Can’t “Positive Vibes” Your Way Through Comparison)
Do you ever feel like you’re doing everything right in your open or polyamorous relationship—and yet still crumble inside the moment your partner connects with someone else? In this honest and unfiltered episode, I explore ...
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Episode 112
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20:28
Love Beyond Boundaries: Jeff Hudson on Throuples, Jealousy & Non-Monogamy
What happens when a long-term couple invites a third person into their relationship—and it doesn’t go as planned?In this raw and revealing episode, I sit down with six-time Emmy-nominated TV producer Jeff Hudson to talk about his ...
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Episode 111
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54:44
The Hidden Costs of Comparing Yourself to Your Metamour, Ep. 110
You know you’re enough—but the second your partner mentions her, the spiral starts. Sound familiar?In this honest, grounding episode, I break down the real costs of comparison in non-monogamous relationships—like th...
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Episode 110
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16:01
Reframing Jealousy as a Powerful Tool in Open Relationships with Dr. Emma Smith
Navigating non-monogamy can stir up some BIG emotions—especially jealousy. But what if jealousy wasn’t something to fight against... but a tool for deeper connection?In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Emma Smith, licensed professional ...
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Episode 109
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53:24
Jealousy to Compersion: Communicating Through Emotions in Open Relationships with Ally Iseman
Ever wondered if you can learn to feel compersion instead of jealousy? Or if talking about opening up your relationship means you're actually ready to do it? This episode dives deep into these questions and more!I'm joined by Ally Iseman...
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Episode 108
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42:38
Why You Keep Comparing Yourself to Your Metamour (And How to Stop), Ep. 107
Struggling with comparison in your non-monogamous relationship?Whether it’s jealousy, insecurity, or spiraling thoughts when your partner mentions someone new—you’re not alone, and you’re not broken.In this episode...
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Episode 107
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14:51
Open Monogamy, Jealousy & Mismatched Desires | Dr. Tammy Nelson on Rethinking Relationship Agreements
If you’ve ever struggled with mismatched desires, defining commitment with a partner, or navigating the messier side of non-monogamy — this episode is for you.In this candid conversation, I talk with Dr. Tammy Nelson, sexologist, therapi...
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Episode 106
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50:53
Unmasking Ashley Madison: Why People Cheat & What It Reveals About Modern Relationships, Ep. 105
When I was invited to interview someone from Ashley Madison, I hesitated. My first instinct was judgment — but then I realized, that’s the same kind of stigma people apply to non-monogamy all the time.This powerful conversa...
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Episode 105
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52:07
5 Simple Tools for Profound Intimacy in Non-Monogamy, Ep. 104
Struggling to feel deeply connected in your non-monogamous relationships? Whether you're navigating polyamory, open relationships, or casual connections, meaningful intimacy doesn’t have to take hours of deep conversations or elaborate d...
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Episode 104
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35:50
Thriving in Non Monogamous Social Situations Without Drama, Ep. 103
The dinner party where your partner's other partner shows up. The wedding where you're trying to explain your relationship structure to curious relatives. The community gathering where you're juggling attention between multiple partners....
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Episode 103
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52:36
From Should to Could - Designing Your Non-monogamous Relationships, Ep. 102
Have you ever felt like you're living someone else's version of a "good" relationship? That moment when you realize you've been checking boxes you never actually chose for yourself? I've been there, and it's time we talk about moving from relat...
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Episode 102
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41:52
The Hidden Price Tag of Figuring Out Non Monogamy Alone
Are you trying to navigate ethical non-monogamy through trial and error? In this episode I reveal why the DIY approach to non-monogamy often leads to unexpected emotional and relationship costs.Episode Highlights: • Un...
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Episode 101
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21:18
Building Polyamorous Community and Connections with Aly Moon
🎉100 episodes! Can you believe it? Three years ago, I was terrified to be on video, worried about getting it all "right." Now, this podcast has become a thriving space for deep, unfiltered conversations about non-monogamy—and it’s all th...
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Episode 100
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50:49
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The #1 Secret to Thriving in Open Relationships, Ep. 99
Feeling lost in non-monogamy? Struggling with unclear boundaries? Without clarity, your relationships can feel uncertain and chaotic. In this episode, I break down why clarity is EVERYTHING when it comes to thriving in open relati...
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Episode 99
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14:00
The Anxious Person's Toolkit for Successful Non-Monogamous Connections with Lola Phoenix
Are you navigating the emotional landscape of non-monogamy? In this episode, I chat with Lola Phoenix, author of "The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy", "The Non-monogamy Journal", and host of the "Non-Monogamy Help" podcast. We chat abou...
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Episode 98
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47:49
The Hidden Costs of Ignoring Jealousy in Non-Monogamous Relationships, EP. 97
Have you ever tried to brush off jealousy, hoping it would simply fade away? In this eye-opening episode, I uncover the hidden costs of ignoring this powerful emotion in non-monogamous relationships.Uncover the truth about jealousy:<...
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Episode 97
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19:11
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