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Nope! We're Not Monogamous
Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (Enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, tantra and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.
Episodes
108 episodes
Why You Keep Comparing Yourself to Your Metamour (And How to Stop), Ep. 107
Struggling with comparison in your non-monogamous relationship?Whether it’s jealousy, insecurity, or spiraling thoughts when your partner mentions someone new—you’re not alone, and you’re not broken.In this episode...
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Episode 107
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14:51
Open Monogamy, Jealousy & Mismatched Desires | Dr. Tammy Nelson on Rethinking Relationship Agreements
If you’ve ever struggled with mismatched desires, defining commitment with a partner, or navigating the messier side of non-monogamy — this episode is for you.In this candid conversation, I talk with Dr. Tammy Nelson, sexologist, therapi...
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Episode 106
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50:53
Unmasking Ashley Madison: Why People Cheat & What It Reveals About Modern Relationships, Ep. 105
When I was invited to interview someone from Ashley Madison, I hesitated. My first instinct was judgment — but then I realized, that’s the same kind of stigma people apply to non-monogamy all the time.This powerful conversa...
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Episode 105
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52:07
5 Simple Tools for Profound Intimacy in Non-Monogamy, Ep. 104
Struggling to feel deeply connected in your non-monogamous relationships? Whether you're navigating polyamory, open relationships, or casual connections, meaningful intimacy doesn’t have to take hours of deep conversations or elaborate d...
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Episode 104
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35:50
Thriving in Non Monogamous Social Situations Without Drama, Ep. 103
The dinner party where your partner's other partner shows up. The wedding where you're trying to explain your relationship structure to curious relatives. The community gathering where you're juggling attention between multiple partners....
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Episode 103
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52:36
From Should to Could - Designing Your Non-monogamous Relationships, Ep. 102
Have you ever felt like you're living someone else's version of a "good" relationship? That moment when you realize you've been checking boxes you never actually chose for yourself? I've been there, and it's time we talk about moving from relat...
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Episode 102
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41:52
The Hidden Price Tag of Figuring Out Non Monogamy Alone
Are you trying to navigate ethical non-monogamy through trial and error? In this episode I reveal why the DIY approach to non-monogamy often leads to unexpected emotional and relationship costs.Episode Highlights: • Un...
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Episode 101
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21:18
Building Polyamorous Community and Connections with Aly Moon
🎉100 episodes! Can you believe it? Three years ago, I was terrified to be on video, worried about getting it all "right." Now, this podcast has become a thriving space for deep, unfiltered conversations about non-monogamy—and it’s all th...
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Episode 100
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50:49
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The #1 Secret to Thriving in Open Relationships, Ep. 99
Feeling lost in non-monogamy? Struggling with unclear boundaries? Without clarity, your relationships can feel uncertain and chaotic. In this episode, I break down why clarity is EVERYTHING when it comes to thriving in open relati...
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Episode 99
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14:00
The Anxious Person's Toolkit for Successful Non-Monogamous Connections with Lola Phoenix
Are you navigating the emotional landscape of non-monogamy? In this episode, I chat with Lola Phoenix, author of "The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy", "The Non-monogamy Journal", and host of the "Non-Monogamy Help" podcast. We chat abou...
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Episode 98
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47:49
The Hidden Costs of Ignoring Jealousy in Non-Monogamous Relationships, EP. 97
Have you ever tried to brush off jealousy, hoping it would simply fade away? In this eye-opening episode, I uncover the hidden costs of ignoring this powerful emotion in non-monogamous relationships.Uncover the truth about jealousy:<...
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Episode 97
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19:11
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Reignite Your Dating Life: Overcoming App Burnout and Finding Your People
Are you tired of swiping endlessly on dating apps, feeling like you're getting nowhere? In this episode, I sit down with Julie and Yue, the dynamic duo behind the Dateable podcast and authors of "How to Be Dateable: The Essential Guide to Findi...
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Episode 96
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53:54
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Why DIY Jealousy Solutions Fall Short in Non Monogamy
Have you ever found yourself caught in the grip of jealousy, promising that next time will be different, only to find those familiar feelings resurface? If you've been trying to tackle jealousy on your own without success, you're not alone. In ...
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Episode 95
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11:17
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The Unexpected Paths of Non-Monogamy: A Conversation with Annie Undone, EP. 94
Are you ready to challenge everything you thought you knew about relationships? In this eye-opening episode, I sit down with Annie Undone, a writer, artist, and relationship anarchist who's been through it all - from monogamy to swinging, polya...
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Episode 94
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47:22
How to Turn Jealousy Into a Tool for Growth, Ep. 93
Have you ever felt that knot in your stomach when your partner laughs a little too hard with someone new? Or that tightness in your chest when they're excited about a fresh connection? Jealousy can be an unwelcome guest in our emotional landsca...
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Episode 93
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35:23
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Why 2025 is the Year to Let Go of Jealousy, Ep. 92
Are you tired of jealousy hijacking your relationships? Imagine stepping into 2025 with the power to transform those uncomfortable feelings into opportunities for growth and deeper connection. In this episode, I'm sharing three powerful tools t...
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Episode 92
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14:34
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Polyamory Explored: Jealousy, Communication and Coming Out Strategies With Kathy Labriola
Are you grappling with jealousy in your non-monogamous relationships? Curious about the differences between solo polyamory and relationship anarchy? In this eye-opening episode, I'm joined by the legendary Kathy Labriola, a counselor, nurse, an...
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Episode 91
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53:48
Graceful Rejection: The Art of Saying No Without Burning Bridges
How do you turn someone down romantically without creating awkwardness or burning bridges? In this episode, my partner, Danny, and I tackle one of the trickiest aspects of non-monogamous relationships: rejection. Inspired by a question from one...
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Episode 90
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27:44
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Beyond Swiping Finding Authentic Connections in Seattle
Are You Ready to Rethink How You Date?Tired of endlessly swiping on dating apps and feeling like you're spinning your wheels? In this episode, I sit down with Rozie Erlewine, a compassionate matchmaker and polyamorous community organize...
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Episode 89
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28:58
Catapults and Consent: When Kink and Polyamory Overlap with Still
Are you ready to get an in-depth look into navigating kink and non-monogamy together? This episode is your ultimate guide to understanding the fascinating intersection of kink, polyamory, and non-monogamous relationships. I’m sitting down...
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Episode 88
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1:02:17
Boundaries, Bedrooms, and Beyond, Navigating Non Monogamous Dating with Shannon Whaley
Curious about what it really takes to date in the non-monogamous world? In this episode, I’m joined by Shannon Whaley, an anti-hustle business coach and newly-out polyamorous explorer, as we dive into the challenges and breakthroughs of non-mon...
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Episode 87
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52:39
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Beyond Vanilla The Intersection of Polyamory and Kink with Maeve McBride
Ever wondered what happens when kink and non-monogamy collide with trauma healing? In this episode, I sit down with the incredible Maeve McBride, a kink and ENM educator, erotic coach, and the Executive Director of Kinkfest 2025, to talk about ...
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Episode 86
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1:02:39
Sex Geeks Get Real: Consent Talks Before Getting Busy with Reid Mahalko
Ever wondered how sex educators navigate their own intimate encounters? In this candid and eye-opening episode, I sit down with renowned sex and relationship educator Reid Mihalko for an intimate conversation about the intricacies of communicat...
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Episode 85
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50:24
Managing Jealousy in Open Relationships with Therapist Ann Russo
Navigating the complexities of non-monogamous relationships can be challenging, especially when it comes to dealing with jealousy. In this conversation, I sit down with Ann Russo, a licensed clinical social worker and therapist specializing in ...
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Episode 84
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47:03
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Shuffling Relationship Dynamics with a Deck of Cards, Ep. 83
Imagine a game that sparks deep conversations, fosters understanding, and strengthens your relationships. That's exactly what the brilliant minds behind The Non Monogamy Card Game have created. This innovative tool is designed to help you explo...
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Episode 83
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43:48
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